if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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