the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize