Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
