imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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