some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
