Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
