There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
