I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
