I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
