I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
