I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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