my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
