She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
