We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
