wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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