Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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