I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
