dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
