The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
