sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
