see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
