You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
