he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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