i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
