Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How's work?
Spinning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
