im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
