: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
