i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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