Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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