Buhtt sex?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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