The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
