you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize