It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
