i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
