R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
