I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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