***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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