Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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