we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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