I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize