Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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