bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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