Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
