So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need a beard to bite.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
