The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
