Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You dont lie about slip and slides
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
