When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
