youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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