You made me cry and you don't even care
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
