that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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