These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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