we have officially lost it.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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