umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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