Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize