yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
