She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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