What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please don't give away my fajitas
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
