i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
