yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
