I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
