Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
