Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
