I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize