in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize