even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
