2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
