It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still dying that you shit outside
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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