Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize