You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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