he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
