Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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